Keep Tahoe Emo.


*My Journal*
*My Journal*

Bessie's Journal!

Anthony's Journal!

Friday January 16th, 2004
Well yesterday was really fun! I wen't over to Bessie's house and we had some girl talk! I was glad that I got to see her because I haven't in a while. Then me and Maggie went to the Undeground. Anthony and travis came and it was pretty fun. Dead city sunday played and a whole lotta forest lake children were there. andrew harrison and cris were there and I was like, ummm exboyfriend reunion night? i think so. then OF COURSE we went to in and out and had some food. that was deffinatly the best part. i saw jennifer mcguinty there! i love that kid, shes so funny!! well today was hillarious, i tried to call in to get maggie out of school early and they totally knew i wasnt her mom and freakin busted me, so i hung up the phone, like a loser! then they called maggie into the office, but then once her mom got home she saved our sorry lying butts, so it's all good now. maggies family is going to tahoe tonight so that means me and maggie are gonna have this bad  boy all to our selves....ohh la la. haha just kidding!! its not like we would do anything wrong, rigghht? no but seriously were probably gonna watch some even stevens or soemthing haha. im having a great day already! its going to be an awesome day! i love my life! okay buh bye

Thursday January 15th, 2004
Man I acually kinda sleeped in today, crazzzay. So last night was run except I ran outta gas again cause I'm a freakin loser face. Me and Anthony watched uptown girls, that movie is so cheesy!!! I dunno what I'm doing today, but ya hopefully something. I'm going to apply at Ohh La La where maggie works, everyone pray I get that job! haha! I'd be sooooo excited!

Wednesday January 14th, 2004
I can't belive that it's already the 14th?! Crazy. Man, something really sad happend, my little brothers best friend died on monday along with a few others from his school and a parent. Im sad for my brother. Yesterday I recorded my song over at colby house and It turned out pretty good. I'm stoked that it's done so now I don't have to stress out about it anymore!All I did after was hang out with Anthony and colby and got some food. I'm fully excited about this weekend up and comming in Tahoe. I'm also a little affraid, but I will be fine cause I will pray about it, and it will be fine. Man my tummy is empty like no tommrow. Today I think Im gonna watch a movie at anthonys but im not too sure. All I know is that I plan on buying the biggest diet coke in the entire world today, like the one travis got me. Cause my throught got really tired and sore really quick last night. I was still getting over a sore throught while recording yesterday but i dont think u can notice it to much. I wanna see that movie "big fish" sooo bad tim burton is my absolute favorite movie director. I wanna join a Bible study really bad, i think that would be cool to start one, maybe me and maggie can do it together haha since we do everything together anyways. Im so blessed to be allowed to live in this house with this family so im not going to complain what so ever if i have to follow there rules about curfew, because thats just selfish and inconsiderate of me. Well, bon vogage!

Tuesday January 13th, 2004
So yesterday we went to this place called the wig galleria and i swear to you dolly parton owned this place and it smelled like pot sooo bad, i was like, woah mam. Anyhoo I got my hair cutt really short but its cute, i like it. even maggies mom likes it. today I am going to record my song thinger with quackers for sfsu. i am nerves, im affraid, im nerves. EEEk! I'm freakin tired too because I went to bed so llate cause i was on the phone till like 2 in the am. then i lied in bed thinking for like 3 hours, crazzaaayyyy. well i think im gonna go take a freakin' showerrrrrrrr yoooooo. ciao.

Monday January 12th, 2004
Dude, this weekend flew by. Apparently, so did my brain because I just started a joural entry with the word "dude". Anyheeeee Friday I went and met up with Anthony and we went to see the willknots play, but mostly just sat outside talking then quackers met up with us then we met up with the maggie at in and out and stayed there for a hecka longe time. Me anthony and colby had some girl talk in the jeep then all the sudden it was like 3:45 in the morning and I had to get home. It was awesome to just sit and talk, I'm all about long conversations in random in and out establishments. Saturday I went to lunch with maggie then tried to help the beautiful and emo boys get some piercings, but steal rose unfoutunatly I felt really bad cause we drove all the way up there for nothing. Me and Maggie went and watched them play and they were rockin' it like usual, minus an embarrassing pic encounter. The quackers showed up...then peter pan tried to freakin spread maggies legs (but thats another story!) then that kid kept me waiting to pee for like 20 minutes, so of course i smacked him, and he poured water all over my hair! Ahhhh! The afro diesssss. Flippin' kids! I tell ya! Istra from LA was really neato I liked them a ton. Then we went to in and out, huge freakin surprise and stayed there and hung out with travis and some other guy I dont know and ate some meat. Eventually Anthony came and we went to maggies and watched finding nemo, again! haha but its okay,it was still fun. I like to just watch movies and hang out these days. Everyone seems like they are getting sick of shows...i could never get sick of going to shows, ever. The more shows I go to the more I need to attened more shows. So I quit Circuit city because the guy who hired me is a crazy weirdo and was like hitting on me and plus I didnt have the time to work 40 hours per week, especially for 7 bucks an hour. I might get a job as a sign shaker haha. Last night me and maggie walked to albersons and got some atkins ice cream. i cant belive ive only been on this diet for a week, ive already lost alot of weight. Ive never eatting carbs again!haha. I have the lyrics and basic melody ready for the song I'm gonna record with quackers for sfsu. Im kinda nerves...I havent been singing very much so it will take me like an hour to warm up at least. Anyways, I have nothing to do today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a loser, someone hang out with me, pronto! CIAO!

Friday January 9th 2004
so i got a job at circuit city and i went to training yesterday. i called in today to see if i was supposed to work but the manager had today off so im taking that as a no need to come in day haha. I've only worked one day and already i wish i could just be a millionare and never have to work again. naw, just training for a job is kinda lame but you know what i will stick it out cause i have to. anyhoo i dunno what im doing today but i think me and anthony might do soemthing cause they got home last night from there little thinger. maggie is going to a dance at her high school and i get to cutt up a shirt for her, because that is what i do best! wow I really need to find a church and youth group around here pronto. beautiful and broken is playing tommrow night at in the net. as i lay dying is playing tonight in marysville but Its 10 bucks and i am soo freakin broke. I dont think i can afford to go, thus back to why i need to not be lazy and work as much as possible, acually its not that im lazy its that im a really social person so i always want to be doing something with other people. maybe i will meet some cool people at work when the store opens in a couple weeks. i have training off and on till then im pretty sure. I'm like the only girl that works in the new store pretty much so it cant be that bad! haha, just kidding!  has anyone heard this "i suck" song by weezer, oh my funnier!! anyways if you couldnt tell already I'm quite bored and I woke up early and took a shower cause i figured i'd have to work for a few hours. my cell phone bill still hasnt been payed and it freakin sucks. I need my cell phone and the internet at all times. yeah i am the cliche, alright, dont judge me.the devil is a pimp dont be his ho'!!! I'm freakin hungry, food is too expensive, like anywhere you go your gonna spend at least 5 bucks to eat i going crazy, perhaps, or maybe I've always been crazy. So i dopnt know whats going on with all that family drama stuff but I have deffinatly been praying for them. I just dont know what to do with myself....(isnt that part of a song). speaking of songs, i have to record a demo for sfsu and i'm gonna get colby to help me....maybe ill bribe him with white bread, cause thats what my family used to feed ducks when we went to the park when i was little.....jk. I want to record a song that I have written myself. this is really the only time im on the computer, when everett is at school, cause that kid plays video games 24/7 mmm kay. last night we went to rhs half time and watched the drill team and there dance was hecka good. for some reason they continued dancing in my dreams and i had a dream that me maggie colby and anthony were playing jepardy against maggies family and i knew every question, and maggies mom got pissed at me and punched me in the face! oh man, let me tell you that was some scarey stuff!!okay well im really boring.

Thursday January 8th, 2003
Well wednesday I came back to maggies and went to my job interview it went pretty well. they said that basically i got the job as long as my back ground check goes well and im sure thats fine but ya, who knows. I dunno what im doing today but hopefully something exciting happens. me and maggie almost went to satan rosa last night, that was pretty freakin funny but she got outta work late and so we decided that it was probably to far now were having some atkins ice cream, yay.

January 6th, 2003
Well, I found out a few things about my family today that I never wanted to hear. I won't get into it because it's too depressing and personal. As I grow and learn reality seems to be shifting right in front of my eyes. It's as if my whole life was just a dream. Yet, waking up and discovery are looking bright and I trust that things will get better for me. I just know that these next few months are going to be beyond rad. I just keep staying positive in this house full of negitivity. As I lay dying is playing in marysville on friday i might go. i saw chesper by the dozen today it was pretty cute. tommrow i go home and to my interview. if anyone reads this, just pray for me, thanks.

Monday January 5th, 2004 (yes miles surveys are my whole like by the way)

Full Name: Tiffany Ann Henning
Nicknames: Tiffy, the tiff, tiff the biff the barfball henning and trisha(ambers dad)
Age: almost 18, yay.
Sex: Female

Single Or Taken: loser
Grade: umm i guess 14 haha

Current Location: im in tahoe right now but i live in rocklin.

Date of Birth: March 31st, 1986
Astological Sign: aries
Place of Birth: charmicheal, ca

Where Do You Live: rocklin, ca
who do you live with: the maroneys jigga!

Parents names: bob and liz
What Elementary School Did You Go To: to many to rember
what middle school did you go to: skyridge, st joshephs and forest lake christian.
What High School Did You Go To: flcs, placer,slths, proseer creek.

Ethnicity: German Jew baby.
Eye Color: blueeeish greenish grey
Hair Color: black with some brown roots comming in cause i need to decide what color i want my hair to be next...
Height: 5'10
Glasses Or Contacts: neither
Piercings (if none, would you?): ears, navel, marylin .
Tattoos (if none, would you?): not yet but i have many plans for the future.i just love tattoos.
Shoe Size: 9's

Thing You've Eaten: atkins ice cream
Person That's Called You: maggie
Person You've IM-ed: i think johnny but he can freakin suck it!
Person You've Emailed: dont recall
Movie You Saw In the Theater, and With Who: Peter Pan with anthony, maggie, colby, travis and nichole.
Movie You Rented: me and maggie rented "2 can play that game" it rocked.
TV Show You've Watched: on disney thats thats this 5 minute thing they play between shows about these 2 sister who ride for sierra and they win nationals every year and my brother rides against them and he was getting all pissed cause they were on the disney channel and get all this publicity cause he rides so much better than them. ya that was the last thing i watched.
Thing You Did With You're Family: went to the grocery store and bought some chap stick, ya i needed it baddd.
Thing You Did With You're Friends: went ice skating and tro brookefields and saw peter pan it was pretty fun too.
Thing You Wrote: this.?
Thing You've Bought: vanilla chapstick, my lips have never tasted so good.
Time You Laughed: I laugh continuously , it never ends buddy.
Time You Fell: happens to often to rember.
Time You Swam: in eureka with amber i think.
Time You Showered: i took a bath a while ago if that counts.
Place You Slept Over At: i guess you could say here, cause i dont live in tahoe with my parents.
Time You've Seen Snow: Lookin right at it buckaroos.
Time You've Seen Hail: 2 days ago or so.
Song You've Listened To: vanessa carlton
Song You've Had Stuck In Your Head: that holiday inn song, what-u-doin'?
Song You've Downloaded: couldnt say
CD You've Wanted But Haven't Bought: i wanna buy the michelle branch cd cause im cool like that.
Time You've Fought With Someone: with my older brother the whole time since ive been here basically cause he's a liar

Person You've Kissed: my dad this morning

What Do You Notice First: their hair, smile and shoes...tight pants are a plus.
Turn Ons: Laughing at my stupid jokes, understanding that i can never really speak correctly (words just come out of my mouth that dont even make scense) stabilaty , affection, effort, kindness and faith.
Turn Offs: flirting with other girls right in front of you, lying, being to full of themselves, being ignored or put on hold.

ideal Eye Color: There are no unattractive eye colors if you ask me.
Ideal Hair Color: black
Ideal Height: at least 6 feet
Ideal Hobbies For Them To Have:I would like to be with someone who loves music as much as me, so i guess music and going to movies and plays and writing. Artsy stuff.
Ideal Sports For Them To Play: Bowling and lazer tag and of course ice skating.
Ideal Personality Traits: Sweet, Sensative, Sarcastic, Hillarious, Outgoing, Honest, faithful, spontaneous.

Fallen In Love: Not yet.
Gone on A Date: yes
Made Out With Someone: yes
Gotten Drunk: braveheart...what? unfourtunatly but those days are over.
Wanted Someone You Couldn't Have: my life story.
Wished on A Shooting Star: no...?
Taken A Vow Of Silence: i guess if promising not to tell a secret applys.
Cheated On A Test: Yea, man im starting to feel depressed.
Cried After Watching A Commercial: Ya this hallmark one. it was sad.
Purposely Set Something On Fire: no
Had Your Heart Broken: not really
Broke Someone Else's Heart: ya
Had A Job: ya
Cooked A Full Meal For Guests: i cook for my family all the time
Laughed, And Couldn't Stop: when anthony feel ice skating and when colby had to wait to eat till he got a napkin!!
Pulled An All-Nighter: yes.
Watched The Sunrise: in hawaii
Watched The Sunset: yeah this summer
Been To An Exotic Place: yeah haha my friend patricks 21st birthday was pretty interesting.
Been Swept Away By A Current: while surfing once.
Been On A Freefall Ride: i dont know....what is that?
Made The Wrong Decision On Purpose: no, why woiuld you do that?

stolen Something: yes. in jr high
Broken Something Out Of Anger Or Sadness: i ripped up some pictures once
Hurt Yourself Out Of Anger Or Sadness: i got drunk out of sadness alot, but not anymore.
Pinched Yourself To See If You Were Dreaming: no....that would make you insane and unstable.
Cussed Someone Out: haha
Bungee-Jumped: yea
Broke the Law: yes
Made Yourself Throw Up: yes
Kept A Secret From Everyone: well i only told one person
Had an Imaginary Friend: no but in the past ive found that sometimes the people you think are your friends are fake.
Had a Crush on A Teacher: garcia in 6th grade, funny thing is he hated my guts and suspended me
Pictured Your Crush Naked: no...thats creepy , i think thats something a guy would do.
Fallen For Your Best Friend: kinda
Been Rejected: yeap.
Rejected Someone: yea
Used Someone: ya
Been Cheated On: yea, it sucks so bad.
Regretted Doing Something: yes..
Regretted Not Doing Something: no

You Have a BF or GF: Nope....
You Have a Crush on Someone: you could call it that
You Wish You Could Live Somewhere Else: naw maggies house freakin rocks.
You Think About Suicide: i used to but not literally.
You Believe in Online Dating: no.

Others Find You Attractive: everyone i know freakin wants me.
You Drink: soda to much
You Do Drugs: no
You Smoke: nope
You Like House-Cleaning: yea
You Like Roller Coasters: yea
You Wait Online All Day For One Person: no
Save AIM/MSN Conversations: not really
Wish You Were A Member Of The Opposite Sex:: i love being a girl !!
Ever Cry Because of What Someone Said: yeah of course everyone has
You Color Your Hair: yes i do...monthly haha

Habla Espanol: flunked
Parlez Francais: no

Kind of Shampoo Do You Use: kms matrix line and bumble and bumble
Kind of Soap Do You Use: whatever
Are You Most Scared of: snakes, spiders, people dying, being heart broken.
Car Would You Like to Have: old mustang, bel air or chevy
Do You Want To Get Married: starting a family is something i took forward too alot. i think i could be a rad mom, or hope to be.
Do You Want To Live: where ever im supposed to live.
Do You Want To Have Your Honeymoon: it doesnt matter, after i get married i wont be going outside for a while. uh-huh i said it.
Makes You Laugh the Most: all my friend are funny. they all bring out diffrent scenses' of humor in me.
Makes You Smile: everyone
Gives You A Funny (good or bad) Feeling When You See Them: ummm ya
Easiest to Talk to: bessie, maggie, anthony, my mom.

Sunday January 4th, 2003
Well, I have an interview for circuit city on wednesday so I hope that that will go well! I'm soo sick and it sucks trying to sleep when you are sick, and we ran out of niquil! Aaahhh! Haha. Today we were pretty much snowed in and I was soo sick, so i didn't get up in time for church, i suck. My brother bobby is competing in a snowboarding compotion today. I hope he does well, im sure he will cause he always does. It's pretty freaking boring up here, but I'll be back to rocklin wednesday so I'm sure I can survive, haha. Anyways, uptown girls comes out on video tuesday...goodtimes. ya i'm officially  going out of my mind.anyways, ciao.

January 3rd, 2003
Well I woke up so sick and tired. I feel like crap and I deffinatly look like crap. anyways today i got in a fight with my parents, but i think its gonna be alright now. i just need to be more patient with them.i need to pray more.I'm gonna stay in tahoe till thursday or so so that I can be with my parents a little longer before i go down to rocklin. i think my parents are jealous of me living with maggies family , so thats why im trying to hang out for a while. i need to rest anyways because im sooo sick, barf. i cant wait till school starts so that i can get back to learning and having a schedule. i cant wait to get a job either, i bet everyone sick of hearing me say that! haha. well its the truth. so ya real world marathon is freakin rockin my world. tiggity tight yo. well i dont have anything else exciting to say, even though what i said so far was exciting at all.....yeahhhhh i love vanessa carlton man

January 2ed 20003
okay so i decided to come to visit my parents this weekend because my older brother told me my little brother was hurt asnd is a freakin jerk and just turns out hes really bored and wanted to hang out. so i get on the road at like 12 and its going fine except there is all this after holiday traffic so its taking forever about 3 hours into my journey i freakin run out of gas in the middle of hwy 50 and im completly pissed off and  sad, i just started to cry for no reason. so i sat in the middle of the road with my emergency lights on for a while then i rmeber ed that no matter what you could call 911 with your cell phone so i did and a cop came and pushed my car to the side of the road but he had to get going because traffic was so bad and there were so many accidents. so i sat in my car,...waiting for a tow truck to come cause the cop had called one. i sat in my freezing cold jeep ina skirt and sandals for freakin five hours...not over eggagerating one bit...then it got really dark and some people stopped and gave me some clothes to wear and i was so thankful and knew that i just needed to be positive, then along came this really nice lady cop and she stayed with me for 2 more hours wiaiting for this tow truk, but at least i got to sit in a heated car...then i finally goit home., but i never want to run out of gasd again. so im in tahoe for proibably just the weekend and i applied at a few places online. now im just trying to stay warm and im thankful my brother is ookay and that i get to freakin sleep soon. i miss maggie already though!!! ahhhh
january first 2004!!!
new years eve was freakin drama after drama haha. anyways it was pretty fun and it was cool hanging out with maggie colby and anthony at dennys and the jumpy slide church place. also i saw derek "boyfriend" and anthony "woobie" from summer camp. yay. we didnt get home till like 4 30 am and it was very very tiring driving home last night. then we freakin got up at 9 am but we didnt end up going ice skating untill 1 , it was travis , nichole maggie, colby and anthony and me and then we went to brokefields and we saw peter pan too it was really fun. now im watching some movie with maggie and her brother called 2 can play that game, uh-huh its a good movie....grrrrl anyways i would write more but i dont want to.

december 30th 2003
well today i moved in!yay we hung out with some travis kid and said whats up to nate from sledding untill thursday ...tear

December 29th2003
yesterday we didnt hang out with johnny as it turns out apparently he sucks. but we went to roseville galleria and i got a few skirts, because we all know i need more skirts and we came back to bessies and layed around. then we went to pick up anthony and we all went to west coast world wide and that sucked pretty mu7ch except that black tie suicides played and they are really awesome. then we went to true love cafe for a little bit and watched finding nemo and anthoyns house it was pretty fun except i was so freakin tired and i dont know why so i was a pretty boring person to hang out with last night. its raining so hard right now and thats awesome! we are playing with bessies 2 year old niece and shes pretty freakin funny ...well maggie comes home today and im soooo freakin excited!!! yay!!!

December 28th, 2003
well yesterday was too much freakin fun! i went from tahoe to bessies house and we went to oroville to hang out with our friend johnny. we watched his band practice and ya the guitar player kyle in that band is soooooooooo hot. holy freakin cow. anyways then me, bessie and cody and johnny went to marysville to watch a whole buncha bands it was really fun afterwards we went to carls jr and i was soo hungry cause i couldnt eat all day for some reason then we went back to oroville and i hung out with johnny a little bit but around 1 am i decided that bessies mom was probably gonna freak out soon so we left and here i am. stars are falling was a really good band, i got a really neato hoody from them its black and pink, yay! today we are going to chico with johnny to the mall and thats gonna be fun because i said so.

Friday December 26th, 2003
Happy Birthday Jesus, yay! Christmas was a good day for me. It's excellent to spend some quality time with your family, even though Tahoe is pretty boring to me currently. We have gotten sooo much snow! Like 6 feet in two days! It's amazing and it was really neato to have a white Christmas. So, I'm hopefully going to see my pal Bessie tommrow and go to a show with her in Marysville. I just gotta get out of here, but ya I don't want to hurt my moms feelings or anything, cause thats no good.Today I have to go through all my stuff and decide what I'm taking to maggies house and what I have to pack away untill the summer. I don't really know what I'm gonna do for the summer, I want to do soemthing exciting. My friend Joshy, from LA is going on a mission trip to mexico, and invited me to go a while back, but I don't know. I wanna get a job at a camp or something like that cause I need so save the funds forsure. Wow, I must sound like a really boring person, i swear im not really , haha. My mom wants me to go see metallica and godsmack with her...uhhh, to bad im never going to another show in reno again! ouch! Well, I have started psalms and this is exciting because its pretty freaking interesting stuff to read!

    Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
    But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
    And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
    The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.
    Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
    For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Wednesday December 24th, 2003
Well, well, well. It's Christmas eve! Crazzz-aaayyy cause my names Tiffff-aaaayyyy. Yesterday going shopping with my mom was pretty bank. I got some more clothes, cause everyone knowns i deffinatly need more clothes...hehe. But ya, i acually didn't get that much studd because i'm getting really picky about clothes now, which is weird because its ME here were talking about. I miss maggie she needs to come home from texas right now so we can freakin go sledding!!! pronto! I think i might be going to san fran on friday but im not really sure. i dont care either way. I cant wait to get out of tahoe though cause its so freaking boring.Chester says hello. anyhee, today im baking christmas cookies with my mommy because thats what we do every christmas eve. and my family always eats chinese food which is really strange and then we go to church at night. Church is deffinatly my favorite part of the whole season. it always smells so good and you get to take communion. that part rocks. i really only want to go to san fransico because then i can look at sfsu where im going next year because ive never even seen the campus, except in pictures. acually i dont know if i can een afford to go there, i just know i got in. i guess if i didnt have enough money i could go to sierra another semester next fall and save up money and then transfer over but im not sure since ive already done 2 years of classes how that works really. these are the things i think about before i fall asleep. to say the least i dont sleep much anymore.  im sucha freakin loser. oh well, thats me. well thats all i have to say about that

Tuesday December 23rd, 2003
I've been thinking way to much this past week. Although, depending on what you are thinking about that can be a good thing. I saw this editorial on television about Operah going to south africa and throwing christmas partys for 50,000 children around south africa. the reason i felt so guilt and felt so sad is because some of these children she were helping had never even had there picture taken before, owned a pair of shoes before and most lives in houses hed together with card board. One of the party she threw was in an area where one in ever 3 adults had aids. It was really alarming to me. Most of the children in south africa , in that part of the world will be orphans because of this epidemic. at the time the show was filmed, even if they new someone was sick in the hospitals there because of hiv they could not give them the drugs they needed to help, by law. It seems now the government of south africa is chaning there law so that they can help prolong the lives of those infected. most of the people there dont know how or why you can get hiv and do not recive any education at all in school about this. It just makes me think day i would love to help children like that and make a real diffrence. sure, its easier for operah because shes one of the richest and most powerful woman in america currently, but id like to think with enough determination, i too could (this sounds so cliche') make a diffrence. even if i only got to go over there for like a month and help people i think it would be an awesome expierence. anyways,...i hope christmas goes well because i keep fighting with my older brother because he is a meanie face to me. i think bobby had a good birthday so that it good. well i gotta go get ready to go shopping, i feel so spoiled sometimes. arden mall is going to be the most crowded place today :( boo

Monday December 22ed, 2003
Yay it's Boobnizzle's birthday.Aka Boobalicious. Today I woke up and made pancakes for my family for breakie. I'm going to see Mona lisa smile with mi madre this afternoon and im totally stoked! Tonight we are going to chevys for my brothers birthday and decorating our tree.Joy. Tommrow I get to go to Sacramento and go christmas shopping with my Mommy! Im excited, because im selfish and like getting new stuff. So, all the dramizzle is over my nizzle. And it feels great! Yay, I like it when everyone can get a long. Ill probably write back later cause im so freakin bored.

Sunday December 21st, 2003
Well Yesterday seemed like the longest day of my life. I woke up and drove home to South Lake Tahoe to see my family for Christmas. I don't know why but it dosent feel like christmas at all, except for when maggies mom was bumping spanish freakin christmas music in the house and there fake fire place was going. nothing made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside as that. Once i got home, i went grocery store shopping with my mom and oh boy was that exciting. I made this chocolate mouse junk with my mom and it turns out i dont entirely suck at cooking, in excited. Basically i sat around the rest of the night watching christmas stuff on tv and oh, ya baby the degrassi season ending. for all of you who dont know what degrassi is,i am sorry but go jump off a cliff it is the best show by far on television these days besdies the one and only seinfeld. happy festavis. anyways this morning chester woke me up way to freakin early and me and my mom went to church. it was a christmas pagent type thing and it was really cute and really long. I'm helping my mother make a birthday cake for my brother bobby because it is his 14th birthday tommrow. i just cant belive that he is 14, i feel like he is not mature enough to be 14 yet so im going to still think of him at 12 because im just not trying to work thru my issues of him turning 13 let alone 14. so freakin like psycho. even when good things happen to me i still feel this anxiety inside and its so weird. i always doubt myself and doubt whats good. im going to pray about that this week. i went for a walk with this chick amy today that i used to hang out with like a year ago and i must say i was in a way diffrent place then, it almost feels like i was in a diffrent body so its extreamly hard to talk to someone who knew me as someone else, if that makes any scense and she wants to hang out again but i dont really want to...and i dunno if that is weird of me to feel so much guilt and anxiety about past sins. like seriously everything is going good for me but because of the things I have done to God in the past i feel nothing but heaviness when i think about the last year of my life. a girl i used to be best friends with tried to kill herself again this weekend, this is the third time, i wounder if it is for attention. honestly i maybe selfish but i cannot be friends with this girl, i just cannot feel sympathy but we have a very very complicating past and i want God to teach me to be as forgiving as him. Tahoe is so freaking boring unless im hear with a friend. i love my mom and my family alot but it is so boring up in herr if anyone acually reads this, write me a freakin email, im sooo bored! its making me dwell in self pitty even worse, man i need a freakin back hurts

Saturday December 20th, 2003 1:36 am
I just got home from the show/in and out burger. It was a very eventful night to say the least. Hanover saints freakin rocked the house down. Poor Brandon could barely sing...and the crowd seemed really off so i felt bad for s11p. dogwoods drummer regejected my playdo heart...sadness. so then we went to in and out, grr, then we left then came back...because i had to talk with (if you dont know, you dont need to) and the talk with him was very emo for me.But i know that he cares about me and i just need to give him and myself some time to grow in our friendship first. the hussy, is just that, a freakin hussy. aaron likes panda's? what the? erik dosent hate maggie now. oh joy. butt lovin'!i will find brandon a wife, wheather he likes it or not...jeff works at papa murphys...take and bake! dog wood can suck it. 4 dolla sweat shirt! "get in the car we need to talk, band buisness" and orange bread. "you got it in the bag" crazy drunk guy hitting on maggie at in and out.chinese make-up! making colby take a detour, sorry buddy. mixing colors.erik ruined the freakin snow man :( giving hussy dirty looks while she tried to joinm the playdo club. CORBIN, enough said, baby!oh my mooners!!!!

Friday December 19th, 2003
Top of the morning to ya!It's about 11 , I just woke up, yay. Maggie is at school right now taking some tests.Lame. I can't wait to get a job. I'm gonna turn in my applications today sometime. Nothing new and exciting really in my neck of the woods. I am so freakin super psyched to see Hanover saints tonight, freakin yay! They are soo good. I can't wait till there cd comes out marchish. I wanna shop11phoenix/yesterdays hero split cd for christmas, those suckers better finish up soon. Christmas is in like less than a week, thats so creepy. As you get older the time between thanksgiving and christmas seems to fly by but when you are little it seems like the longest month of your life! is that because we become less selfish as we grow older or more numb to excitement, or is this because we are just more busy? hmmm who knows the answer to that one. so ya hypothtically, if there were maybe someone who was maybe going to be at the show tonight that i might not like, i might like to punch that person in the face multiple times.

Thursday December 18th, 2003
So wednesday me and bessie went to rocklin and ate some taco bell with maggie! gooood times! then we wen't to the shop11phoenix show in Marysville which was really fun. except erik james WILBUR is a freakin meanie face and there was soo much friggin' drama up in that hiz-ouse! so amggie and colby showed up like 3 songs before dogwood was over, but we got a free pizza? i spent the night a maggies. i want colby and maggie to get married and make many babies. But i need to get married first otherwise i would be hecka depressed, just joshin'. so today i wen't to a whole lotta places to get applications and i hope to get a job at starbucks or soemthing. sierra dosent start untill the 25th or so but im moving into maggies in like a week and a half. we are going to the shop11phoenix show on friday, oh la la. hanover saints are playing and i think we all know they are like one of the freakin best if not the best local bands up in herrr!! Im so excited to see them. dogwood was pretty good. the so hot. but you wait one min-izle, i still have my sights set on only one :( how sad. yeah i cant tell you how thats going because i feel like im running in circles! It's aight though because i need to focus on getting a job and saving up some money right now anyhoo. im sure friday will be fun though. every friday always seems to be fun. i left my cell phone charger at bessies, ba ba bummer! :( sad, tear, emo. im so excited to bust out my 50's skirt tommrow,Ya!

Tuesday December 16th, 2003
Well, yesterday me and the Bess wen't to freakin carson "i suck" city and did some shopping. that was fun then we watched another movie and didnt really do anything constructive but chill. my friend joanna was over, from oregon, man that chick is straight crazy! but she left now. So im excited because tommrow we are going to rocklin and to bessies house and to see shop11phoenix and maggie and her friend and maybe the duck (aka colby) might come so it shall be a jolly good time. hopefullly i can cover up my ugly bruised lip with some make up or something so that this bad boy wont make me look like hilter, but in the end who cares. you know whats weird? whats weird is that i techinically would still be going to school at crappy placer right now if i hadnt been forced to move to tahoe. but in the end i thank God for that because i have gotten so much more accomplished in these last 2 years than i would if i were still in high school. i cant wait to start school again already! im such a nerd! i love to learn! Bessie and me are going to san fransico for my 18th birthday so anyone who wants to come is welcome!~"wait one minizzle"

Monday December 15th, 2003
So me and Bessie have been having a great time spending some girl time together here in Tahoe. We went to see "Bad Santa" yesterday wich i have to say is one of the funniest, meanest, most depressing movies i have ever seen, but an all around good time. Except for when my mom got in a fight with the popcorn girl. We also rented a mandy moore movie called "hwo to deal" or soemthing, which was basically a chick flick and made bessie cry a bunch of times. I dont know what we are doing today and lameo is still asleep. my lip is feeling a little bit better and i can acually touch my nose without crying.haha jk. so im excited sooo much to move to rocklin. i cant wait to get job so i can save some money up, up in herrr. and ya boys still suck and im not even going to go into detail about the freakin anxiety i feel. but ANYHEE it snowed so much yet i am so poor and cannot afford to freakin go snowboarding. but even if i had the money i dont know if i would spend it on snowboarding anyways cause i need to get my family some more christmas presents because i love them! im really over this whole need for a boyfriend thing, i think that there are to many other exciting things happening in my life to even worry about it!i dont know if i can ever give up my independance to anyone. well thats all for now im gonna go sit on bessie and wake her up!

Sunday December 14th, 2003
have i got a story for you(whoever you are). Okay so friday i get up way to freakin early and drive 6 hours to rocklin. me and the magical maggie have some burbon chicken at the mall and look at shoes. then bessie came and met up with me at the galleria, and maggie went to work. goodtimes. then we saw eric munoz at the mall and that was just funny! then, ya we got in the car and drove 2 and a half hours to my parents house in south lake tahoe.after unloading basically a jeep full of clothes and my computer, we then made our way to reno. there we were stanging in line to see afi and as we inch our way inside, behold the concert ticket we got was a seat, and not in the pit. oh the frustration of driving all day in the car and waiting so long to see afi took over my body. so when the lights went out i said, "bessie hold on to me!" and i jumped over this fence blocking the seat people from the pit. security started yelling at us, "excuse me please stop" i didnt look back and i had made it into th middle of the pit. i looked around and bessies little head popped up next to me. a security gaurd had pushed her, but she pushed that mo fo out of the way! yellow card couldn't have sucked anymore. boo. then after a few confrontations with some girl pushing me and bessie on purpose. afi began, behold, some how i wound up in this circle pit and away from bessie. i sayed in that circle pit for about 4 or 5 songs.i figured, at least i was having fun. then a song stoped and this kid next to me with glasses looked at me and some other kid bumped me into him. the kid with glasses, who was twice my size and wasnt wearing a shirt(and i must say did smell very badly) looked me right in the face and PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!  I was in shock and my hands were full of blood. soem hot guy grabbed me and pushed people out of the way so i could see the emt. two guys jumped on the glasses kid and started beating the crap out of him. so i made my way to the medical room thinger and this crazy emt was like "your nose is broke" and all i could say was "do you have any ice? where is bessie? i dont want to miss the rest of the show." so then they cleaned the blood off my face and sent me on my way.with no ice! freakin jerks. the rest of afi playing was pretty cool, considering i could barley see, but it sounded good and i found bessie! and oh boy was she rockin the freakin place down.  so then after the show we saw jayson and his gf and some other chick who was going out with cris but apparently he dumped her the day before. bummer. haha. anyways so then we got lost on the way home but we finally made it to carson city where we had some good wendys and bessie sat on her hamburger. finally we made it home! i never want to drive a car ever again in my life. saturday was fun, we went to ceasers buffett with bessie and we ate alot of food. then bessie and i went shopping and that was fun, as always. my lip is all yucky now but looks pretty freakin duck like and some how i feel like karma is comming to get me for always calling colby a duck! so in conclution. the show was fun, my lip hurts, bessie got to see davey really close up, wendys has way to salty of fries and last night is snowed like 2 feet. yay.

Thursday December 11th, two thousand three
you think you know, but you have no idea.sorry, i just always wanted to say i woke up and wen't to my voice final, it was really fun and i think i did pretty good.i feel like i can always get better, ive never sung in that class and been like "wow, that was the best i could do!". but thats another story. then i took my cultural geography final, i rocked that final so hard, it didnt know what hit it! wowsa! extreme. so then i pakced my stuff into my jeep, except my computer, obviously. then i put gas in my car, super exciting, i know! but today was a good day, wanna know why? because it was my last day in SMELLY eureka. yay. hooray. hoorah. hip hip. yippy. skippy. freakin sweet sassy!thats right, i said it.the cute gy from my dcultural geography class called me and came by today to say bye too. yum. oh well, im moving.see ya later eureka! oh ya, suck it!

Wednesday December 10th, Two Thousand Three
I feel like crap. I'm sick, blah.Today I took my college success final, that class is such a joke. Anyways, saved by the bell is on and nothing makes me happier than saved by the bell re-runs in the morning. So tommrow is Thursday and all I have left is to take my voice final, take my hard cultural geography final and pack my stuff in my jeep and friday morning im sooo out of Eureka and never comming back. Then Bessie and I are going to Afi and Yellowcard in Reno. Goodtimes. Man i wish it didn't feel like someone was jumping up and down in my stomack. So yeah boys suck. Just when you think things could go your way, they don't. Yeah i sound pesimistic and grumpy , thats because i am today. Crap i forgot to take back my library books. Eh , oh well. These football players that live next to me are fighting again, it's pretty amusing when you are bored because they always fight about the funniest stuff, like last time they were fighting about the last time one of them had taken a shower, oh man boys really are stupid. Just kidding, i will never think that for reals because most girls are twice as lame as guys. The war in iraq is barely even talked about anymore it seems and it seems like a lot of people just dont understand that the clean up of this war will take much time. An election year is already comming up again, but this time i get to vote. thats the only part of 18 i am really excited about, voting. I hope one day the war in the Congo and the war in Isreal will be able to stop, but that day will never come i do fear. What the heck is a popcorn player? my neighbor is now rapping about popcorn players at the top of his lungs. awesome. on the 17th me and bessie and probably maggie are gonna go to the marysville shop11phoenix show. on the 20th im supposed to go with jet to see the hoods show...that will be fun. only 15 days till christmas, that seems soo freakin' weird to me. Wouldn't that be weird to be a cop, i think so. Man i think i lost like 10 pouns just from puking so much this past weekend. my mom wants me to go back to the hospuital right now but i dont even have the energy to move really. i wish i just knew what was wrong. bessies like telling me, that low white blood cell count is like a sign of lucemia or something i was like, ohhh that'd be just my luck. you know what i need to shut up and stop complaining and think about positive stuff for now.

Tuesday December Ninth, Two Thousand Three...
So where do i begin? Okay so friday amber had her meeting with the housing director and basically she has to have a meeting with the vice principal too. My meeting, wich has been changed a zillion times, oh ya i mean a ziliion! Is today at 1:00. I helped Amber and her parents move all her stuff into her car. We went christmas shopping and out to dinner with her parents it was really fun and her family is super nice. Saturday we watched pirates of the carabean and basically hung out with Luke and stuff. Sunday i threw up like 15 to 20 times and i hadnt eatten anything. so around 7 or so i had to go to the emergency room. i was there untill basically 4 pm monday. there is soemthing wrong with my white blood cells? they said me being sick had nothing to do with the flu or nobody knows whats wrong with me basically. so they put and iv in. gave me a whole bunch of stuff which made me really tired and hungry.  ciporol, which is the same stuff they give to people with anthrax...SUPER. so today i got to wake up at 5 am to drive back to eureka to take my human seuxality final. which i think i did crappy on because the words were all blurry when i was trying to read it. Im just trying to think about friday when i can get the heck out of here. i have another meeting tonight with some guy about my cafeteria contract too, which will be loads of fun. Amber got me a really nice silver italian charm braclet for Christmas. shes so nice, she took care of me while i was in the hospital. hmm the best of seinfeld is on tv tommrow, goodtimes. alright, im out. stick a fork in emo!

Thursday December 4th two thousand three
today was annoying. i was supposed to have that meeting, and it got cancelled, now my meeting is on tuesday. not that it really matters im leaving anyways. on the 12th me and bessie are going to see afi and on the 17th were going to see dogwood and shop11phoenix. neato.i had 3 classes today, oh joy. today was my last day of classes, next week i just have finals. this weekend should be fun chillin with Amber!, our last weekend together :( tear! ya so really nothing cool happens retrospect. more waiting and waiting and waiting for what i know could be. if you know what im saying. can i get a witness?

Wednesday, December Third, Two Thousand Three.
Today was alright. I was supposed to have a meeting with the vice president of my school today about leaving the dorms to move home, but the lady was sick. So i have it on Friday and im getting pretty nerves and anxious about that. I just wanna get out of this place! Eek! I'm leaving no matter what next week after my last final on Thursday. I'm soo stoked. Today me and my room mate, Amber Lynn packed up all our stuff. My room looks so plain now! I can't wait untill I get to live with margaret and her lovely family in January. Maybe I will start talking like im from the South instead of Canada! HaHa! Other than getting ready for finals and moving, not to much exciting is happening, but not to much exciting has happened the whole time I have lived here in Eureka. Well nothing that was happy/exciting anyways. I don't like hippys. Last night on "Rich Girl" one of them said "I want to be a Hippy when I grow up". Wow, that sucks. So hopefully I can go to AFI on the 12th, but currently I am so broke and will barley have enough money for gas to get home. Im so happy that I don't have to write any more reasearch papers and that I got all the classes I wanted at Sierra for next semester already so I don't have to wait about any of them becoming full, like what happpened to me last time when i came to stinkin eureka. I saw a guy today wearing a shirt that said "Eureka Stinks" with pictures of smoke, yeah that pretty much sums it up. Diet mountain dew is your friend...and diet vanilla coke. I'm going to Visit with Amber's family this weekend. Her Dad cought lots of crab, so we will be having that, and that's good stuff suckers. cresent city is acually a pretty cool little cute town, Killing Weston (porkbelly) is from there, they were acually pretty rad when me and Marg saw them at In the Net about a week and a half ago. My thanksgiving vacation was pretty fun. Except my Dad being in the hospital. Today some guy in my College Success class gave his oral presentation on how if you have high blood pressure you will most likely die and all this other really comforting stuff, i almost cried. I dunno what I would do without either of my parents. I try to tell myself I am all grown up and that I don't need them, but My family is my life. I would be so unhappy without them. I can't imagine the pain and suffering that death of a family member could cause someone. It's weird because this girl who lives next to us came over and told me about this Dream she had about my Dad dying, and then i called my mom and she told me that my dad was in the hospital. It was the worst feeling in the world. I try not to feel sorry for myself, there are many people who go through so much worse than I do, every day. I feel so selfish as an American sometimes...also so fortunate. Thats all for today. -Tiffani